I dedicate my memoir to the “witches” in my life
Dedications usually appear in the fronts of books, but I find it fitting to include my dedication in the epilogue, because it was only through hindsight that I would know that the witches in my life are the greatest catalysts to my growth and development, without which I may still be stuffing myself on a sugar-coated house.
The people in our lives—parents, siblings, bosses, coworkers, in-laws, friends, neighbors, acquaintances—anyone who pushes our buttons, who challenges us, who tries to victimize us, or steal from us, may be the most important catalyst to our development in this life. So rather than struggle with those people, rather than harbor resentment or anger toward them, stop and ask yourself, “What is the Universe trying to teach me through this experience?”
It is difficult to be objective, but like the witches in Hansel and Gretel and The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, our witches might actually be fulfilling a sacred contract, in which, as painful as it feels in the moment, is intended to help us move along your spiritual path. Rather than interpret the actions of our “witch” personally, think of them in symbolical terms. Try to understand that most likely the button we blame others for pushing was created in our early childhood, therefore, forgiving the current witch in our life is a moot point.
First and foremost, I dedicate my memoir to the greatest witches in my life, that is, my Mom and Dad, and I no doubt was one of their greatest witches, too, as my memoir does attest. But they were my King and Queen as well, and I have always loved and appreciated them, whether I was conscious of it or not. And of course I love my son, too, who could easily be the subject of another whole book, but who wishes to remain anonymous. He no doubt sees me as both his witch and his queen. But that is the cycle of life. And there is no one to blame. There were countless other witches in my life as well. But like Caroline Myss said to a room full of people who laughed at the irony, “Remember there are just as many people trying to get over having known you as you them.”
But I would like to take a special moment to honor my friend Della, one of my greatest supporters and critics—and my Underdog, that is, no matter what I say about any person, place, or thing—she almost always points out an opposing viewpoint. And as if I was the villain, she takes up the torch for the side opposite mine most of the time, which still infuriates me to this day.
But I’ve realized through the process of some shadow work I’ve begun in March 2015 that Della is pushing the same button that my parents pushed, which I wrote about in the Preface of my memoir, that is, they refused to validate my feelings and thoughts and experiences. It is as if that day—with my head pushed up against the chair rail—that a little program was inserted into my brain and it is still running in my head to this day and to it are attached feelings stemming back to when I was five years old. It is as if when I share my experiences with Della, she is calling me a liar, and I react like the five year old I was, defensive and angry, my hand on my hip.
And so, you see, Della is not personally attacking me. The fact that she can still push that particular button is the Universe’s way of showing me a shadow aspect of my psyche that still needs much work, that is, healing—and validation! (Please join me on my Shadow Work web page as this process of discovery continues.)
No doubt, Della is one of my greatest witches, and I am no doubt one of hers. But she is also one of the greatest, most generous friends I have ever known. For her, I shall plant a tree. ♂ ♀