MEMOIR LOGO CONCEPT: The aleph and a Sufi mystic inspired my creation and design of the syzygy logo, which I initially based on the symbolism of the yin and yang.



But the concept expanded when I first saw the aleph in Judith Cornell’s    
Mandala Healing Kit, My inexplicable attraction to it led me to incorporate it into my logo before I knew what it meant. 

I later read that the “Aleph (the first letter of the sacred Hebrew alphabet) embodies the primordial, divine potential of the universe. ... Aleph contains all the universe’s potential and all of its emptiness   simultaneously. Aleph represents a dynamic process of movement from unity to diversity and back to unity,” Jennifer Judelsohn, Songs of Creation.

And the  mystic poet Rumi inspired me to use the fire and water concept after I read The  Question.  Here is an excerpt:  

“The presence is there in front of me. A fire on the left, a lovely stream on the right.

One group walks toward the fire, into the fire. Another toward the sweet flowing water.

No one knows which are blessed and which are not.

Whoever walks into the fire appears suddenly in the stream. 

A head goes under water, and that head pokes out of the fire.”

LOGO ART: Cropped fire and water images from Free Images

LOTUS LOGO: In spiritual and religious literature, “the lotus is a symbol for the macrocosm and the microcosm, the universe and man. The lotus represents the divinity of the cosmos as well as the divinity of man. 





The lotus is the center of the infinite, omnipresent consciousness which connects with the consciousness of the universe. Through the intuition, one of man’s divine gifts, the spiritual student can see the infinite, omnipresent consciousness as the lotus flower within himself.” 

LOTUS ART: Courtesy 
Homestead, my website service provider. (Temporary art while I design of my own lotus logo.)


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THE MEMOIR
CROSSING THE BRIDGE TO SELF
THE JOURNEY
A friend of mine met 
an astrologer at a fair 
by chance and asked this stranger to do an astrological past life reading for me as an early birthday gift. I wasn’t even there. With just a date and a name, Joan Porte, a Virginia-based astrologer, provided me with a reading that has changed the very framework through which I view my experiences—and the experiences of everyone else as well. I am publishing excerpts of it here partly to show how powerful, how inspirational, and how transformative such a reading can be (if done by a reputable expert, of course) in the process of self-discovery. 

This reading greatly contributed to my understanding of my Self, my soul’s journey, and my soul’s progression from one incarnation to the next. With amazing insight and accuracy, Joan, a perfect stranger, described me better than I could have myself, a description based solely on the astrological alignment and aspects of the planets and asteroids at the time of my birth.  










The excerpts I have selected to share below reflect my general observations about that hour-long reading. But the reading also explored aspects of my relationships with my family, friends, and coworkers, as well as my education, employment, religion, and sexuality, aspects I will explore in future installments on this page as a demonstration of the revealing power of astrology, and to also show how it relates to other avenues of self-discovery, such as alchemy, oracle cards, and the I Ching
“We are born at a given moment, in a given place and, like vintage years of wine, we have the qualities of the year and of the season of which we are born. Astrology does not lay claim to anything more." 
Pluto Key to Transformation, 
Change in Eighth House of Power
READING: Eighth House of Power: Pluto is the key to change and transformation. RESPONSE TO OVERALL READING: The need to change and transform has driven me since I can remember. I absolutely could not understand anyone who didn’t think their life had a higher purpose. When I would see people satisfied just going about their day-to-day routines with seemingly no higher aspirations, I would think, “What a waste of a life!” TRANSFORMATIVE POTENTIAL: This reading made me realize that I have no idea, that perhaps accepting and enjoying day-to-day routines fulfills exactly another soul’s purpose or desire in this incarnation: Perhaps that person totally missed out on some very special experiences in a past incarnation because they were too busy to stop and smell the roses. As I am learning to put aside my judgment about others, I now look at everyone’s choices differently, including my own.

READING: This power to change will bleed into this lifetime. You came into the Barbara lifetime with the feeling of being inferior, not really knowing your power.   RESPONSE: Feelings of inferiority have been a deep source of anguish for me since I can remember. Since I was little, my mother would get exasperated and ask me, “Why are you always so insecure?” Like as if I should know why!  TRANSFORMATIVE POTENTIAL: This finally explains the source of my insecurities (as recounted in my memoir) and shows me that I chose to  be born at the precise moment I did so that my soul could experience and overcome these difficult feelings in preparation for my next incarnation. With this understanding, I can begin to expend of those feelings of inferiority and realize that I am just as worthy as anyone else on this planet. 

READING (the past lives whose energy is most prevalent in this life): The energy in these lifetimes was very fast moving, non-committed, detached, lacked bonding. Committing to anything gave you the heebie-jeebies. You were all about the knowledge, gathering the information, quicksilver, kind of a Peripatetic lifestyle. You had the ability to dedicate your life to service, to something. This is what’s very interesting. This is the only thing you were really dedicated to. Taking up the cause for others? Nooooo! Being committed to any one person? Nooooo! But only this service to something spiritual, something bigger than yourself. There’s a sense of isolation or retreat.  RESPONSE: The apple didn’t fall too far from my past trees. This could just as easily be describing my current situation in this incarnation.

READING: There also could have been some persecutions for religious beliefs. Again, we see you were involved in some large authority structure, and it involved an issue larger than life. It could have been some great movement, and you were in the center. RESPONSE: In a past life reading I had 15 years ago, the psychic said very similar things, relating one past life to an underground kind of movement perhaps in the 1600s. Salem witch trials? Knights Templar? Freemasonry? They all intrigue me in this lifetime. 

READING: So we have a pretty good idea who you were in your past lives, and we carry a cellular memory of this. But you also carry the shadow of Gemini, that feeling of small, no voice, inferior, I’m not special anymore. They can all manifest. RESPONSE: Ditto, from above. Must read memoir.

The Barbara Existence 
READING: Now we’re talking about the current life, the Barbara existence. We have to go back to Pluto, which tells us the soul’s desire. We go to Pluto’s pseudo-polarity to ask, “Why am I here?” One or both of your parents were peculiar, different, and difficult. RESPONSE: Dad. Dad. Dad. READING: They were parents who had different cultures, different religions. RESPONSE: Dad was Catholic; Mom was Methodist. Dad grew up in the city; Mom grew up in a small town. Dad was raised in poverty; Mom was raised in the middle class. Mom graduated high school; Dad dropped out in 8th grade. Dad wasn’t good enough for Mom, so said her parents, who did everything shy of disowning her when they married. Decades passed before they would truly accept him. 
READING FOR DATE, TIME, 
& LOCATION OF BIRTH
December 17, 1955 
3:24 a.m. EST +5:00
Syracuse, New York
43° N02'53ʺ 076°W08'52ʺ
Jupiter Rules Sagittarius
READING: Jupiter rules Sagittarius. The idea of having some kind of spiritual awakening and awareness. Higher education, teaching, publishing, writing in service to your own beliefs. RESPONSE:  Pretty much describes the whole point of me writing my memoir, which inadvertently led me to publishing practically my whole life online. 

Mercury Rules S. Node, Makes Rare Flowing Aspect to N. Node
READING: The ruler of your South Node—Mercury—is making a flowing aspect to the ruler of your North Node—very important—something I rarely see! With your chart, I’m getting a sense that you are at the very end of this old way of doing things. You are getting out of an old cycle and getting into a new cycle of yourself. You have all these planets in the first quadrant, which means self-discovery. RESPONSE: In the last two years or more (as I discussed on alchemy), I have experienced several major lifestyle changes, that is, I am struggling to get out of an old cycle to begin a new cycle of myself, a cycle of Self-discovery, a cycle from the black phase of Nigredo to the white phase, Albedo. TRANSFORMATIVE POTENTIAL: This reading has been an amazing validation and affirmation that the path I’ve taken is aligned with my soul’s desire and design. 

Third House: Moon 
in Capricorn
READING: Need to overcome something with education, depression, melancholy, serious. Sacred wound in Aquarius. Painful emotion—Chiron—deep wound—we don’t want to go near it. Chiron conjuncts to Moon, and you have very deep, deep feelings, and they come from places you can’t even put your finger on. You are very easily wounded, very easily hurt. RESPONSE: Painfully true, as the black nigredo phase of alchemy is a very difficult place to be, and I spent the last few years of my life trying to fight my way out of it. 

READING: But this is an extremely powerful chart, an intense chart, a chart of new beginnings, a chart of self-awareness, which is always fun when you have something moving in such a positive direction instead of, oh, my god, this person is so stuck. RESPONSE: So true and exciting. (At the time of this reading I had no idea that I was going to build this website and explore all that I have up to date. I initially built this site to market my memoir since I couldn’t find an agent/publisher.) 

READING: Where in the past you lost yourself to these big issues, now you apply it to self-discovery. That’s really very, very interesting. It’s actually very neat! I’m trying to think, to remember, but only in a few charts have I seen this. So it’s like you’re almost at the end of coming into—like the next lifetimes, will be lifetimes where this fear and all this other stuff will be gone, and you’ll be on this journey of Self-discovery from the beginning, with Self-understanding and Self-awareness. And you know that’s pretty cool to me! RESPONSE: Me too! I have always wondered what that would be like!! 

TRANSFORMATIVE POTENTIAL: This resonates in my soul and motivates me to keep my focus, to keep going. I’m almost there! But I have so much more work to do on this website and in the publishing of my memoir that I am very focused on finishing now—before this incarnation ends—so that I will be ready for that new beginning. This is what I have longed for this entire Barbara existence.

Scorpio Dominates Rising Sign: Lifetime Transformation
READING: People with a lot of Scorpio predominately placed in their rising sign are people who always leave this world differently from when they came in. That’s why I say this is like a big final cleaning up and stepping onto a new stage of complete Self-awareness in your next lifetimes. And people say, doesn’t everybody change? No. Many people leave this world exactly as they were. They hang onto their beliefs. The idea of being able to transform, to metamorphize, is huge! With Jupiter hitting on Pluto, the idea of expansion, I see a spiritual journey. To me it’s not a robe kind of thing, but changing, re-orienting your spiritual energy. RESPONSE: I ask my Spirit Guides, my Angels, to see me through safely and lovingly.  ♀ ♂
   ****  Learn more about Joan Porte and evolutionary astrology or see Joan's blog. (BTW, the comment from BJ is mine. **** 
Like a thumbprint, no two astrological charts are the same. The alignment of the stars, planets, moon, and sun, on the very day you were born—the very moment you were born—reveals energy unique to you. 
Past-life reading changed my perspective on life
Past-life astrology reading shows potential transformation

© 1955–2015 Syzygy: Crossing the Bridge to Self. All Rights Reserved.


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Carl G. Jung, who had a life-long fascination with astrology