MEMOIR LOGO CONCEPT: The aleph and a Sufi mystic inspired my creation and design of the syzygy logo, which I initially based on the symbolism of the yin and yang.

But the concept expanded when I first saw the aleph in Judith Cornell’s    
Mandala Healing Kit, My inexplicable attraction to it led me to incorporate it into my logo before I knew what it meant. 

I later read that the “Aleph (the first letter of the sacred Hebrew alphabet) embodies the primordial, divine potential of the universe. ... Aleph contains all the universe’s potential and all of its emptiness   simultaneously. Aleph represents a dynamic process of movement from unity to diversity and back to unity,” Jennifer Judelsohn, Songs of Creation.

And the  mystic poet Rumi inspired me to use the fire and water concept after I read The  Question.  Here is an excerpt:  

“The presence is there in front of me. A fire on the left, a lovely stream on the right.

One group walks toward the fire, into the fire. Another toward the sweet flowing water.

No one knows which are blessed and which are not.

Whoever walks into the fire appears suddenly in the stream. 

A head goes under water, and that head pokes out of the fire.”

LOGO ART: Cropped fire and water images from Free Images

LOTUS LOGO: In spiritual and religious literature, “the lotus is a symbol for the macrocosm and the microcosm, the universe and man. The lotus represents the divinity of the cosmos as well as the divinity of man. 

The lotus is the center of the infinite, omnipresent consciousness which connects with the consciousness of the universe. Through the intuition, one of man’s divine gifts, the spiritual student can see the infinite, omnipresent consciousness as the lotus flower within himself.” 

LOTUS ART: Courtesy 
Homestead, my website service provider. (Temporary art while I design of my own lotus logo.)

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(Thru Amazon)


In hindsight, I can finally say that it’s a story of a woman in her 40s trying to climb out of an unconscious life. But with no one to mentor her or to validate her feelings or her quest, she kept falling back into the same pit, especially considering the bits of information she found often conflicted with one another—right up to the end.  

For example, last December her brother Peter surprised her with her kindergarten report card, which he had found when he was sorting through the remnants of their parents’ lives. She was excited to see what succulent little morsels would raise her to new heights. But after reading it, she had to scratch her head.

Ever since she could remember, Gabrielle’s parents constantly criticized her for making up stories, had called her a liar. But according to Miss Dollard, her kindergarten teacher, her weakest developmental skill—out of Work Habits, Personal Development, Social Development, Number Development, and Language Development—her weakest skill—and ironically the only weakness that Miss Dollard chose to point out—was her ability to make up stories. She just wasn’t good at it!

And contradicting her perception of an entire year of her young life begging to go to school, her mother wrote on the back of her report card, “I can’t seem to catch Gabrielle’s interest in learning. Can you suggest anything?” 

And in direct contradiction to that comment, Miss Dollard wrote, “Gabrielle is a very likable little girl. She is interested in school and does well.” 

It was as if we were all living in different alternate universes! 

Well, after muddling through the best that I could through many of these types of scenarios, I can finally say that I have found my Self. I have found my way back home. Happiness has extinguished the anger that has always haunted me. Love and gratitude fill my heart and soul. At last, I have tricked the wicked witch into climbing into the oven and have slammed shut the oven door. I am healed! 

Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. 

I must admit that in the early years of writing this book, I thought that by the time I finished it I would be cured, and I would be some kind of guru or something, and I would have all the answers. But now I see it is a lifelong process, a lifelong work, and there are setbacks and complications.

The memoir draws to a close at the end of 2001, but it took another 14 years to re-member, to re-create, and to analyze the events of the previous 40 years. But upon completion, it was as if the pebble that was lodged in tire treads long ago popped out and rolled to freedom. 

Common motifs in the memoir such as “creating your own reality” and “healing” and a “journey” and “God” were metaphoric and abstract. But upon completion, these motifs came alive with new meaning. The concept of “creating your own reality” is quite literally true on more levels than I could have ever imagined. 

The concept of “healing” has evolved to “integrating.” The concept of “journey” is metaphoric. We don’t really “go” anywhere, although this is how our brains will likely interpret our experience as we orbit this spiral we call “Self” from one frequency or vibration to another. And “God” has evolved from a static story in a child’s catechism—an entity that doles out reward and punishment—to encompass all energy, which may be called the “Universe” or “Source” or the “higher Self.”

But these evolutions do not void the validity of the initial experiences and perceptions. To the contrary, writing the memoir was just as valuable during the process as it is in hindsight. Now when something pisses me off or hurts me, I don’t have to ask why I’m reacting in this way or that way. With my memoir at my fingertips, I can readily evaluate my feelings and validate them. It has been an invaluable tool in the excavation of my soul. 

But now that the memoir is finished, the Universe has provided me with a whole new set of tools to take me to the next level, that is, “Building the House: The Ground Floor,” that is, the sequel to “Syzygy: Crossing the Bridge to Self,” now in process.  ♂ ♀
I’m not a Snooki or a Honey Boo Boo or a Kardashian, and I cannot dance or sing or trump anything (haha), but I admire all these so-called reality TV€ stars because they are living their authentic lives, or they have scammed us all, because I suspect that’€™s why we can’™t take our eyes off of their train wrecks. 

These are just a few of the shows that helped kick off hundreds and hundreds of reality TV shows that have attracted hundreds of millions of viewers every year. Nonetheless, the attraction to reality TV baffled me. (Even though my DVR was set to record several of them.) 

But then in January 2013, I read When Memory Speaks, by Jill Ker Conway, who wrote in 1998 that the autobiography had become the most popular form of fiction (yes, I said fiction) among modern readers, partly because by the turn of the 20th century, a new quest for authenticity [had] emerged, partly because people were €œsated with the devices for suspense developed by the serial writer, and partly because the genre allows us to suspend disbelief as we €œtry on the experience of another.€

Who knew how the genre of autobiography would evolve in the 21st century €”into a whole new genre of reality TV. Suddenly, I wasn’™t concerned about finding a publisher for my memoir, a memoir written by a non-celeb with no credentials. Never mind a hard cover. I decided to create a €œreality website, where I can share my journey with you directly, in real time, and invite you to embark on a quest of your own, which I hope you will share with me, for every quest is unique and exciting. 

Through the eyes of a Jungian student, I will share my experiences€”, beginning on an introductory level and advancing as I explore Jung’€™s active imagination technique, alchemy, archetypes, astrology, dreams, I Ching, mandalas, memoir writing, numerology, oracle cards, psychoanalysis, psychological types, and synchronicities and how they have helped me and can help you along your unique path of self-discovery.  (Please scroll to the bottom of the page for links to all this and more.)

I hope by documenting my experiences that you will be inspired to begin your own quest for conscious awareness toward your authenticity, to find that something that you once knew, to mend your fragmented soul, to integrate the polar aspects of your psyche, to become whole, to find your joy, to experience anew our divine Source.

I also hope that by  introducing Carl Jung and  his life’€™s work, that Jungian psychology will one day be practiced in the mainstream, which will not only help us to heal on an individual level, but contribute to the health of the collective psyche of humankind.

But we want to proceed with caution because growing, becoming aware, becoming conscious, has its share of pain and struggle. 
This quest is not about eliminating our dark side or striving for perfection, but about lifting the mask of our persona and integrating what is unconscious with what is conscious to reconnect with our higher Self.

As you will see, some days ”as the life I live develops in a dark room of its own making, €”I cringe at the sight of me. Other days, I marvel. It’€™s both work and play. It is digging and burying, finding and losing, hurting and healing, loving and hating. It is dying and being reborn.

Other pages on this site, such as Out of My Mind, will feature creative projects and/or processes. For example, the first installment is the drawing of a mandala. Also My Latest Revelation, which documents my a-ha moments as they occur in real time; the Power of Thought, which features how I quit smoking; and Good Deeds, which documents inexpensive ways we can begin healing the Universe.

I hope you will find this website and my memoir helpful, entertaining, and enlightening as I seek my authenticity, my Truth, my higher Self. And should you begin a similar adventure, please contact me

As Conway said, the €œmagical opportunity of entering another life is what really sets us thinking about our own. 

♂ ♀

©1955—“2015 Syzygy: Crossing the Bridge to Self. All Rights Reserved.